|
Interpersonal Communication - An Elixir of Life |
|
|
|
To
be is to be in Relationship with Others
We cannot be human alone. We live in a world filled with
other people. We live together, work together and play together. We need
each other for security, comfort, friendship and love. We need each other
to mature through dialogue. We need each other to achieve our goals and
objectives. None of these needs could be addressed without interpersonal
communication. We communicate in order to: get acquainted, express
emotions to others, share information, and persuade others to understand
our personal views and to build relationships. Using language as a vehicle
to communicate effectively with others has been the topic of discussion.
But language is one of the factors help in the communication process.
Language alone cannot enable an individual to communicate feelings, ideas,
concepts, emotions etc. Because, Interpersonal communication is humanity's
most important characteristic and its greatest accomplishment. It is human
being's ability to turn meaningless grunts into spoken and written words,
through which they are able to make known their needs, wants, ideas and
feelings.
Why do we need Interpersonal Communication?
Interpersonal Communication is the lifeblood of every
relationship. Good relations are nurtured by open, clear and sensitive
communication. We are able to send messages from the moon, but we find it
difficult to relate to those we love. Ineffective communication causes
loneliness, conflicts, family problems, professional dissatisfactions,
psychological stress, physical illness and even death, when communication
breaks down.
An understanding of interpersonal communication is an
essential ingredient in cooking up good relationships. Language is perhaps
the most pertinent tool in communications, we may infer to the semantics
of each lexicon in the language to understand Language as a component on
its own. But this is neither the only nor the foremost element of
importance in communication due to the complex process by which culture
and communication influence each other.
Defining Interpersonal Communication – Different
Perspectives:
Interpersonal communication is defined by Michael Cody as:
the exchange of symbols used to achieve interpersonal goals (p.28).
Roloff, M. E. in his book "Interpersonal
Communication: The Social Exchange Approach", Beverly Hills, CA,
Sage, (1981), defines interpersonal communication as "a symbolic
interaction between people rather then between a person and an inanimate
object".
Mark L. Knapp and John Augustine Daly in their
"Handbook of Interpersonal Communication - (P.3) state:
Interpersonal communication can mean the ability to
relate to people in written as well as verbal communication. This
type of communication can occur in both a one-on-one and a group
setting. This also means being able to handle different people in
different situations, and making people feel at ease. Gestures
such as eye contact, body movement, and hand gestures are also part of
interpersonal communication. The most common functions of
interpersonal communication are listening, talking and conflict
resolution. Types of interpersonal communication vary from verbal
to non-verbal and from situation to situation. Interpersonal
communication involves face-to-face communication in a way that
accomplishes the purpose and is appropriate. Bernstein views that
Interpersonal communication is a symbolic process by
which two people bound together in a relationship, provide each other
with resources or negotiate the exchange of resources. (p. 30) Interpersonal Communication is ever-changing:
Everyone can learn to communicate more effectively.
Everyone can change. Actually change is inevitable, so everyone will
change . People change continuously from infancy to old age. And
the law of change says: "Things do not stay the same. If
they don't get better, they get worse".
It is important to have the communication skills to manage
changes than to let them happen to you. People who understand the
communication process have more control over it and fewer breakdowns.
Four Principles of Interpersonal Communication
These principles underlie the workings in real life of
interpersonal communication. They are basic to communication. We can't
ignore them.
Interpersonal communication is inescapable
We can't not communicate. The very attempt not to
communicate communicates something. Through not only words, but through
tone of voice and through gesture, posture, facial expression, etc., we
constantly communicate to those around us. Through these channels, we
constantly receive communication from others. Even when you sleep, you
communicate. Remember a basic principle of communication in general:
people are not mind readers. Another way to put this is: people judge you
by your behavior, not your intent.
Interpersonal communication is irreversible
You can't really take back something once it has been
said. The effect must inevitably remain. Despite the instructions from a
judge to a jury to "disregard that last statement the witness
made," the lawyer knows that it can't help but make an impression on
the jury. A Russian proverb says, "Once a word goes out of your
mouth, you can never swallow it again."
Interpersonal communication is complicated
No form of communication is simple. Because of the number
of variables involved, even simple requests are extremely complex.
Theorists note that whenever we communicate there are really at least six
"people" involved: 1) who you think you are; 2) who you think
the other person is; 30 who you think the other person thinks you are; 4)
who the other person thinks /she is; 5) who the other person thinks you
are; and 6) who the other person thinks you think s/he is.
Interpersonal communication is contextual
In other words, communication does not happen in
isolation. There is:
* Psychological context, which is who you are and
what you bring to the interaction. Your needs, desires, values,
personality, etc., all form the psychological context. ("You"
here refers to both participants in the interaction.)
* Relational context, which concerns your
reactions to the other person--the "mix."
* Situational context deals with the
psycho-social "where" you are communicating. An interaction
that takes place in a classroom will be very different from one that
takes place in a bar.
* Environmental context deals with the physical
"where" you are communicating. Furniture, location, noise
level, temperature, season, time of day, all are examples of factors in
the environmental context.
* Cultural context includes all the learned
behaviors and rules that affect the interaction. If you come from a
culture (foreign or within your own country) where it is considered rude
to make long, direct eye contact, you will out of politeness avoid eye
contact. If the other person comes from a culture where long, direct eye
contact signals trustworthiness, then we have in the cultural context a
basis for misunderstanding. The key to improving interpersonal relationships is simple
once you understand the principles, components and aspects of
interpersonal communication and the roles need play.
"To effectively communicate, we must realize that
we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this
understanding as a guide to our communication with others." |
